I haven’t felt a feeling like this in so many fucking years it’s unreal. As I stare at my precious daughter, I’m overcome with emotions. She’s only a few days old and I’m already in love. I can’t control the feelings inside of me as I watch how strong she is eating away at her bottle. A stray tear runs down my cheek, landing on my tattooed forearm.
It’s the early morning hours of my first Father’s Day and I’m grateful to be up this early with Adrean. I let Cara sleep in; she needs it, especially since she had such a rough labor. It took almost thirty hours for this little bundle of joy to be born and boy did she scare the shit out of us.
At one point the doctors couldn’t find her heartbeat. In that moment I swear to God, I almost lost it. Had is not been for Cara, I would have. Little Adrean finally stops drinking her bottle and I lean back in the chair, holding her up to get a good glimpse. She’s got the lightest hair any baby could have, that came from Cara and she has her lips, so big and full. She has my eyes, eyebrows, forehead, and cheeks. Well, damn near everything else about her reminds me of myself. Especially those eyes when I look deep into them, it’s like I’m searching into my own soul.
With my daughter resting comfortably on my shoulder, I begin to gently pat her back. It takes just a few moments ‘til I get a small burp out of her, then a big one. A smile crosses my face at the noise. I know what you’re thinking. She’s just like her mother.
She quiets down and I know I should lay her back in her bed, but having her in my arms feels so good. I never thought I wanted kids after I lost one many years ago, but now I know I was meant to be a dad and I can’t wait for Cara to get pregnant again. My eyes begin to feel heavy and I succumb to the tiredness, closing them for a few brief moments.
That is ‘til Adrean wiggles in my arms, causing me to frantically hold her tighter. Shit, I fell asleep. Glancing down, so did she. I look up at the entrance to the room and there’s my wife, my Cara. She’s the most beautiful in the mornings. So natural and carefree, she’s wearing one of my Denver fire t-shirts and comes over to me with the biggest smile on her face. I open my free arm and Cara sits on my lap.
“Me too. How is she?”
“You tell me,” I say as we both stare at her in my arms.
“She’s perfect. You know you shouldn’t sleep with her in your arms.”
“I wasn’t sleeping,” I protest.
“Sure you weren’t, I watched you. But regardless, you two are absolutely breathtaking.”
“And so are you. Why are you up so early?” I question.
“I missed you guys, plus it’s your day so I want to make sure you relax.”
“Thanks kitten, but I don’t need to relax. Do you want to hold her for a while and I’ll go cook breakfast?”
She shakes her head at me. “As much as I do,” she says leaning down kissing our daughter, then me. “I’m cooking for you, babe.”
My stomach growls at her words. I love her cooking; I always have and always will. Adrean yawns a little and moves in my arms. I kiss Cara again as she walks off. I thank God for these two amazing women in my life. I only wish my mother was here to see them, but I know deep down she’s looking down at me and proud as hell.